Random Talk

[HeavenIsAPlaceOnEarth]

alphabetize her laundry

[Cauliflower Of Love]

found myself flirting with moms adorable night nurse thinking

Nintex is the greatest troll.

[Nintex]

found myself flirting with moms adorable night nurse thinking

Nintex is the greatest troll.

I'll see if I can get the receipts tommorow if I take mom home for Christmas and bring her back at night. They're usually open to taking pictures of nurses, families and patients they can put on the walls of the psyche ward to show the more anxious patients and their relatives that it is a safe place and they won't be harmed. (and with all the privacy laws they can't take pictures by themselves).

I'm honestly humbled by how much my friends want to help me with this new quest though. 
We're going to hit some bars soon. I replaced the picture of me standing next to a Ferrari with a picture of me at the New Years Eve party last year where I'm chill with people. 

When I went out to buy a new winter coat yesterday, I was wearing an old one for measurements so the lady kind of frowned, picked out a coat and said: "well, maybe try this one but it might not fit your style" and when I took off my old coat to try on the new one she noticed the silk shirt and blazer I was hiding under that old coat that I usually wear at the office: "Sir, I think this compliments that blazer perfectly actually". And she was right, that $300 coat did fit me well. 

But I'm just full of contradictions because that kind of thing signaled to my friends that I'm essentially in the rat race for either someone focused on their career or business like me or a 9/10 super model or trophy wife and I wouldn't be interested in the girl that works at the local shoe store or runs board game night at the bar.

[Polident]

Think sometimes as people get older they start seeing these things as clinical arrangements instead of emotional connections. You never know what your type is until it happens. To quote Woody Allen defending his creepy relationship with his stepdaughter: the heart wants what it wants.

[benji]

Well, I’m rooting for you.

Again, that means something VERY different in Australia. Hilariously so in this context!

yeah and then maybe she'll invite you over to her place and you can  alphabetize her laundry  

I would totally put her lace first and then her cotton panties after


if you know what i mean

yeah and then maybe she'll invite you over to her place and you can  alphabetize her laundry  

God, I hope that's a euphemism.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

Well, I’m rooting for you.

Again, that means something VERY different in Australia. Hilariously so in this context!

yeah and then maybe she'll invite you over to her place and you can  alphabetize her laundry  

I would totally put her lace first and then her cotton panties after


if you know what i mean

yeah and then maybe she'll invite you over to her place and you can  alphabetize her laundry  

God, I hope that's a euphemism.

The thighs on that woman drive me insane every single time.

I'd accadaca all night long.

[Nintex]

Think sometimes as people get older they start seeing these things as clinical arrangements instead of emotional connections. You never know what your type is until it happens. To quote Woody Allen defending his creepy relationship with his stepdaughter: the heart wants what it wants.

I also think the issue is communication and lack thereof.

10 - 15 years ago, everyone knew I was into videogames and movies. Nowadays not as obvious. And with all the talk of red flags and cancelling people tend to be more cautious about sharing things apart from what they think others will find cool or acceptable. 

I had to be honest with myself when I looked at all those party girls. I'm not a big fan of traveling and I'll probably won't like Ibiza festivals enough to make it a regular thing. If an Ibiza girl would like to settle down and we don't 100% match interests I wouldn't mind it at all. I'm also not the kind of guy that would pressure them on the history of the bodycount or drugs or anything. However that's just not the thing that I should put most of my effort in. Same goes for the career women I see, it would be appealing to me to have a succesful partner but it's not a dealbreaker and I'm not looking to be one of those power couples that has to outdo all the other power couples.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

[Nintex]

The type I'm looking for actually exists, I'm kind of schocked this showed up tbh. After a tsunami of fitness and career girls I got a profile that matches 100% to what I'm looking for.

- 31, but I would've believed her if she had listed as 25
- bright red/orange hair
- easily a 7 bordering an 8, just cute in general
- works as a digital designer
- matching interests like bars, games and movies
- emphasized she was open to travel but had a preference for local trips in NL

I have on my profile:
"I'm secretly a romantic that wants to get lost in your eyes and look at the sunset every day.... but first I have to find a savepoint"

She has on hers:
"I'm secretly a romantic that wants to be taken on an adventure from time to time and experience how life can be fun" my heart melted reading that.

Hopefully she responds to my Super Like thing.

[BIONIC]

I have on my profile:
"I'm secretly a romantic that wants to get lost in your eyes and look at the sunset every day.... but first I have to find a savepoint"

[who is ted danson?]

Merry Christmas to all Bire users and filler

[HardcoreRetro]

"Sir, I think this compliments that blazer perfectly actually". And she was right, that $300 coat did fit me well.

Nintex, you're never going to believe this. I've got a bridge for sale that fits that blazer perfectly as well.

[Nintex]

Merry Christmas all. Picked up mom from the clinic this morning and she smiled for the first time in 12 months when I took a picture of us all today. Dad was so happy. A Christmas miracle.

"Sir, I think this compliments that blazer perfectly actually". And she was right, that $300 coat did fit me well.

Nintex, you're never going to believe this. I've got a bridge for sale that fits that blazer perfectly as well.

It was more about the fit, this lady knows her stuff well. I now have a short leather jacket like Leon from RE4 for when I'm just wearing a shirt and a fancy long winter coat that fits blazers, suits or an invasion of the Soviet Union.

[Nintex]

So I've exhausted swiping the 27 - 35 pool of profiles near me on Bumble and I've pretty much ruled out anyone age 33+. 

I mean, these women just go out of their way to be the least appealing and dateable. Honestly, I don't know why they are on these apps if they don't really want to date anyway. "I hope you care: About Palestine as much as I do" Just endless lists of red flags and reasons they don't want to date you. Another one is clearly looking for that guy with a high paying job but then also wants to somehow tour the world in a camper for a year.

The 24/25 year olds might be looking for sugar daddies or have daddy issues or whatever sure, but at least they are pretty and pretend to be nice in their profiles. I noticed on dating sites they now have age brackets 20 - 40 for their meet-ups. Now I think 20 year olds are too young for me but I can see they need to increase the pool of dateable women that way and I can see why it is better to target younger than older.  

Also I think I'm going to switch to Tinder or Boo next because Bumble isn't working well as a platform overall. I'll keep my profile on there just in case someone wants to match with me and I'll try a Spotlight some time after Christmas (I have 3 of those I think).
But in general the big caveats are that your Match only sees your like for 24 hours and she can only see who liked if she pays. You also can't see the profiles anymore after you've liked them (they need to appear in 'the deck' again). There is also no way to tell how old any of these profiles are (only new ones are shown as 'new'), because girls often delete the app but that does not delete the profile. Plus it seems to mostly attract a type of Instagram influencer profile instead of people looking to date. I imagine it also attracts a certain type of men because of that and all these profiles I'm seeing are just trying to tailor to that type of men too.

Tinder as I understood is a mixed bag depending on your area and less curated in terms of bots and escorts but actually shows people that are currently looking to date and are active on the app and that makes it easier to match.

[Polident]

I’m so out of touch so I don’t know what Boo is. Regarding others, my impression based on news stories and friends:

Bumble. Very liberal and feminist. Founded in the idea of women making the first move, by ex Tinder lady. They changed the policy recently to boost business.

Tinder. Gay hook up app for straights. Lots of bots. Sketchy practices and trying to upsell subscription plans. Owned big a larger Match Group with dozens of other dating apps. Match, OkCupid, Hinge, etc. are all connected with different criteria. If a new dating app shows up, the company tries to buy them. It all gets folded into one large pile. Lots of fun conspiracies. Anyway,

Hinge. Basically for instagram people? At the time when friends talked about it, it sounded more…middle to upper middle class? 

The League and Raya. I think these are the expensive higher end ones meant for celebrities and “influencers”? Only know of them from new stories of TikTok dancers getting messages from actors in their 40s.

[Nintex]

Boo is a matching app more based on interests with long form profiles, so for gamers, DnD players and the likes. It's where the nerds are but I'm not sure how big it is in the Netherlands plus there is nerds and there is nerds. It's also not just for dates/relationships but also just to find friends to game with or DnD groups. 

In the Netherlands we also have Lexa, which is sort of the mainstream/go-to dating service here. They have more than just apps, also meet-ups, speeddates, etc. .

Dating agencies are also an option but those are expensive. 35 Euro for a monthly subscription and then usually a 1000 Euro if you find a match.

As for my potential partner being liberal/left, there is really no escaping it. Unless I want to go the route of the girls that eat butter sticks, are heavily religous or anti-vaxx, 80% - 90% of women 20 - 40 here are left leaning or apolitical. It's more a question of how left as opposed to if they are left.

My co-workers both found their match on Tinder so I'm trying that next. 
They also told me they used my sales interview techniques for their dates because I always talk so easily to new (mostly) female clients and get them comfortable as soon as they walk in. And I was like, couldn't you guys have told me this before. 

Also next year I'm getting a Museum card so I can visit basically all the Museums for free for just 75 Euro and I'm looking at other events and places where I might run into girls with shared interests or things they flock to in general. I was already planning to get the card anyway, to mix up the usual movies and bars with some other activities and visits to other cities.  

So in short:
- Make sure my social circle knows I'm looking and what I'm looking for (so the word spreads among friends/co-workers)
- Putting profiles on dating apps
- Doing more activities and visiting more different places
- Do more shopping in stores than online
- Boosting my dating and social profiles with pictures of those activities

From what I can tell the supply of 25 - 33 is basically infinite, girls break up, finish university, move or start looking at any time. So a girl that fits my preferences that starts looking 3 months from now, will find a more interesting Tinder profile even if I haven't found anyone by then.

[Gameboy Nostalgia]

Merry Christmas to all on the Bire.

[Besticus Maximus]

I wish Nintex the best of luck in his love quest, hinge is the best of the apps imo.

Remember: Get ripped and don't be weird and you'll have more fanny coming at you than you know how to handle. We're just monkeys bros. Just big old hairless monkeys.

Also Voice Notes. It is remarkable how much the women folk like receiving voice notes instead of texts.

[Nintex]

Hinge looks very good, gonna try that before Tinder I think.
Voice notes sound great too, it helps that I have a great 'radio' voice that I use for tutorial videos and even podcasts and interviews from time to time.

I've also looked at Happn, which uses location based data. While I'm not a festival guy I travel quite a bit for work and business meetings these days.
We usually end up meeting at shared working spaces, big hospitals, universities, office buildings etc. where all kinds of people come and go but usually there are quite a few higher educated introverts. Also a lot tourists visit this town and people from the region who come here to work, shop, attend conferences or simply enjoy beach walks and whatnot.

[Besticus Maximus]

The thing about voice notes is it shows you're bold and confident and if you sound good it gets the imagination going. Most lads these lasses talk to are simpletons.

[Straight Edge]

[Cauliflower Of Love]

why are you limiting your search by age?

[Nintex]

why are you limiting your search by age?

It seems like the sensible and smart thing to do considering the type of relationship I'm looking for.

I'm open to expanding the range if this doesn't work out but I don't really see a relationship with a girl half my age working.
The rule of thumb (age / 2 + 7) has always been in the back of my mind so the lower limit would be 24/25.

It helps that those women are open to dating 30-somethings because they find guys their own age too immature or just unable to provide. 
I've seen some rough heartbreaks where the dude found the love of his life at ~20 and then she broke up within a few years because he couldn't afford a house and regular vacations and whatnot and her new 30-something boyfriend could. She loved the guy but just wasn't patient enough for him to sort out his life. After enjoying some quality time with the new boyfriend, she then hits that age where she wants to have babies before the window closes (27 - 32). It's what I'm seeing all around me now, dudes find nice 20-something girls at 35/36 after a few dates, she starts to think about what she wants as her life becomes less stressful quickly and is able to work less and they become dads in their late 30's early 40's. 

Most guys in their mid-20's are even more fucked than I was, because they have 80k - 100k in college debt to pay off and that means no mortgage and it takes up to 20 years to pay that off. And if you marry without any kind of special arrangement and she has a decent income, you lose a whole bunch of benefits and have to pay it off in full quicker. They don't want to put that debt on her, so they kind of hold off on marriage and she starts to look around for what she's missing out on because all he can do is pay for the rent and groceries. The system here is really designed for debt free couples and home owners, so as soon as you have 2 decent incomes added together and child benefits, you're basically set. I can't buy a house now but if I would have a partner with just the bare minimum income, I could easily double my mortgage if she has the same income as me I could quadruple it on top of that my mortgage becomes a tax deductible. 

Part of the millenial/zoomer generation has basically been spoiled by the fact that you could easily loan up to 100k to pay for 'college/university' and with that kind of money, money from their parents and no real expenses they live it up large. Very few guys can afford that lifestyle after they graduate because their incomes are much lower than they think and the rent is much higher. While most women understand that life becomes more serious after graduation, they don't want to have to worry about what dishes and wines they pick from the menu.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

If your dating pool is determined by an age range, you got wrong priorities, and that speaks to you too.

[Uncle]

what is the appropriate determination for a dating pool

[Cauliflower Of Love]

what is the appropriate determination for a dating pool

How wet you get each other.

[Nintex]

Got the Hinge profile going, I like this app a lot better. You can actually see who was active on the app and the voice thing is a nice bonus.
The algorithm is also better in showing you people interested in the same kind of relationship as you and it more quickly caught on to my preferences.

It is also easier to 'like' certain aspects of a profile, like a joke or interest.

Bit pricier though, $50 for 3 months for this one, for Bumble it was $35 but that's a waste of money given how poorly curated it is.

[Nintex]

what is the appropriate determination for a dating pool

How wet you get each other.

On these apps it also depends on what their setting of age range is.

18 year olds are unlikely to have it set to 30+ unless escorts or looking for sugar daddies.
Although it could be fun to try it out sometime and see what I get.

Maybe there is a cute 18F bookworm that dreams to be with a 36M but in that case it's not just my friends that want to kill me for pulling it off, her parents probably too.  

[Besticus Maximus]

Got the Hinge profile going, I like this app a lot better. You can actually see who was active on the app and the voice thing is a nice bonus.
The algorithm is also better in showing you people interested in the same kind of relationship as you and it more quickly caught on to my preferences.

It is also easier to 'like' certain aspects of a profile, like a joke or interest.

Bit pricier though, $50 for 3 months for this one, for Bumble it was $35 but that's a waste of money given how poorly curated it is.

Hinge is more generally for people who are looking for relationships and aren't chumps. The bar is higher but it seems more genuinely geared for creating relationships instead of pump and dump situations.

[Nintex]

Got the Hinge profile going, I like this app a lot better. You can actually see who was active on the app and the voice thing is a nice bonus.
The algorithm is also better in showing you people interested in the same kind of relationship as you and it more quickly caught on to my preferences.

It is also easier to 'like' certain aspects of a profile, like a joke or interest.

Bit pricier though, $50 for 3 months for this one, for Bumble it was $35 but that's a waste of money given how poorly curated it is.

Hinge is more generally for people who are looking for relationships and aren't chumps. The bar is higher but it seems more genuinely geared for creating relationships instead of pump and dump situations.

I'm seeing some overlap in profiles between Bumble and Hinge but overall I like Hinge better. You can more easily like certain things about someone and their profile. Today a cute nerd that wanted to cuddle popped up and I could lean into that very easily. Although less so in Hinge, both apps rely on these 'boosters' that give you more visibility and those are clearly exploited by the influencer/OnlyFans types to reel in $$$.

What Cauliflower said about 'How wet you get each other' and what you said about most guys being simpletons also got me thinking about the rejection I got from the redhead, where she said that she didn't feel the same romantic connection as I did but appreciated the effort etc. and was later happy that I wasn't one of 'those guys' that would make her life hell just because she rejected me. 

So I tuned my profiles to highlight my romantic side better because that was really missing, especially in the voice message. With the "don't date me if" template as a starting point I basically highlighted that they shouldn't date me if they don't want to do all these romantic things after returning home from work. And this time I decided not to end it with a witty comment like "but first I gotta save" or "in that case have fun at McDonalds" or anything like that so it was more sincere. I do need better pictures though so that's the first thing after the weather improves.
 
Just like with the red stuff I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. I've been walking through an historic 16th century city center daily because my office is there. Tourists stand outside my window to take pictures of the buildings and streets, it is often blocked for fashion shoots and even wedding ceremonies (that's how ROMANTIC it is) and yet it never occured to me to snap a few photos of myself there, same with all the times I walked to the beach to look at the sunset. So romance is the other piece of the puzzle I was missing. Yet from Tales of Symphonia to Casablanca it was pretty damn obvious in the media I consume. 

So today I had another epiphany when I realized that Fire Emblem: Echoes is my favorite FE, because A) Celica is a redhead and B) it is essentially a love story about an impossible relationship.