12-28-2024, 04:18 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-28-2024, 04:22 AM by Hap Shaughnessy.)
https://www.resetera.com/threads/better-not-click-if-youre-enjoying-a-happy-christmas-did-you-ever-find-out-your-parents-no-longer-love-you-and-how-did-you-react-cope-with-it.1069110/page-2#post-133531500
SpaztasticToma wrote:Thx for sharing that. I'm sorry you experienced that. I wish I could reach the same stage that you describe in your last two sentences. I've been told by therapists before "you cannot change your parents, you can only change yourself". But there's a part in me that just refuses to accept that I should just ngaf. Because my thinking is: My father would still never realize that HE is the one in the wrong. That thought just wouldn't ever give me peace. I want to reach a situation where, and I'm aware that this is likely a hopeless fantasy, he realizes his wrong doings, apologizes and starts behaving differently. He's almost 70. He won't change. Nobody is pressuring him to. I will always be the "bad son" because I'm not who he wanted me to be. I hope I can one day learn what you learnt and "not waste my time on him". But then I start thinking about my parents getting closer to death and it makes me cry, no matter how they treated me. It sucks :/
If I may ask: What did other family members who are close to both you and your dad say about his behavior? Did they all clearly support you or was there some defending/relativiating going on, too? Ignore the question if it's too personal.