Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 1)

[Jansen]

Okay so I ate a piece of chicken and part of a potato why do I smell donuts when there are none

Is it a tumor

Can't help you there but if you have heart issues I can help with the signs of that.  

Since I'm giving my PlanetSmasher-esque bio I was asked if I wanted my last rites while they were waiting before my surgery (it was going to be sketchy and they wanted me to get my "affairs in order" too ). I foolishly said no because I'm an atheist. I should have said yes because it makes the story cooler if I said yes. "I was once read my last rites." Now I have to tell this lamer version where they asked and I say no. 

Spoiler, I didn't die

The official story is that I have a cold or sinus infection but just know it's actually a tiny bean with my absorbed brother inside in my head and sometimes he can take control of me