Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 1)

[killamajig]

Okay so I ate a piece of chicken and part of a potato why do I smell donuts when there are none

Is it a tumor

Can't help you there but if you have heart issues I can help with the signs of that.  

Since I'm giving my PlanetSmasher-esque bio I was asked if I wanted my last rites while they were waiting before my surgery (it was going to be sketchy and they wanted me to get my "affairs in order" too ). I foolishly said no because I'm an atheist. I should have said yes because it makes the story cooler if I said yes. "I was once read my last rites." Now I have to tell this lamer version where they asked and I say no. 

Spoiler, I didn't die

The official story is that I have a cold or sinus infection but just know it's actually a tiny bean with my absorbed brother inside in my head and sometimes he can take control of me

Or maybe...

https://www.discovermagazine.com/the-sciences/could-you-be-a-human-chimera-when-one-person-has-two-sets-of-dna

One recipe for chimerism begins during pregnancy with twins (or triplets, octuplets, etc.). In cases of vanishing twin syndrome, where one of the embryos dies in utero, the other may absorb its cells and become a being divided — it will still have its original genes, but they’ll be mixed with those of its less fortunate womb-mate. (Of course, this only works with fraternal twins, since identical twins already share the exact same DNA.)

That’s what happened to Lydia Fairchild, a woman who almost lost custody of her children in 2002 after DNA testing showed she wasn’t a genetic match with them. Luckily a second test, this time on cells from a different part of her body, set the record straight: Fairchild was a hybrid, partly herself and partly a twin sister she’d carried with her all her life. So, she was indeed her children’s mother — but also, genetically speaking, she was their aunt.