Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 1)

[BIONIC]

I can't comment on your situations specifically, but this forums definitely feels a lot more mean than I remember it being in the past.

Sure, you always had people getting into heated arguments over stuff that doesn't matter and things like that, which sucks but at least I understand why people do it. But lately it feels like we get way more comments that aren't even posted to argue, they're just posted to make other people feel awful.

This thread is a good recent example. OP posts a personal situation that stressed him out and made him emotional, and some of the responses are just "you need to go to therapy and also your wife should divorce you".

Jesus, a lot of the responses in that thread. So much "Be a real man!" energy focused in one spot.

I can't stand that attitude. Being a man, to me, means being a strong leader (if you can be), standing up for others, especially those who are vulnerable, standing against oppression, bigotry, intolerance, and especially fascism. It means processing your emotions, being vulnerable when needed, and not bottling everything up turning into anger and bitterness. It means being comfortable and strong enough to cry, showing emotion, and you will always feel better and clearer after. It means treating people with kindness, love, respect, and tolerance. It means learning about people different than you, their wants, their needs, their rights. It takes strength to do all these things. "This is how I fight."

Bottling up emotions isn't being a man, it's being a coward, and it's self-destructive turning you into a bitter mess. It's being too scared to express how you feel, and of how other weak men perceive you.