Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 1)

[Hap Shaughnessy]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/welcome-new-members-introduce-yourself-here.119184/page-43#post-138156033

Hey all,
Pleasure to meet you all! My name is Night Ray and I am a huge nerd who loves pretty much all nerdy things like DND video games and movies! I am trilingual and I would like to eventually get into a creative industry and stuff. Always down to chat and stuff too! Longtime lurker too a lot of yall are really neat big scheme of things.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/american-women-are-giving-up-on-marriage-wsj.1156059/page-7#post-138154815

Longtime lurker, first-time poster. Honestly every time one of these posts comes along I read and reread them over and over again and I just feel really lost and frustrated. I really hate how much polarization there is with this kind of stuff and nobody is stopping the toxic people and as a result everyone who is normal has to suffer and get caught in the crossfire it makes me really sad. I really wish the government did more to actually address this/promote/create more third spaces and more genuine community and support for people at a micro level because i feel like that is contributing as well because the physical-digital balance is being thrown out of whack. Kind of on that level, I feel like the left needs to get better at talking to people instead of at people so like if someone is sharing they feel lost because they are struggling with feeling alone or they are struggling with something else we should try to avoid "Oh just be social or #trytherapy/#beyourself" and be like "Hey, I understand you are feeling frustrated here are some legitimate tangible communities and support who can aid you in the right direction", especially with younger folks. Like I think the ability to honestly communicate emotions makes a big impact in terms of comfort and vulnerability for a lot of folks, at least in my own experience. I think the more that people can talk to people and think of them as equal people the better.

Sometimes I feel really lost and frustrated because some people are lashing out at men at a macro level and its like "sorry i cant control other peoples actions or like 500+ years of history i am just trying to take care of myself/exist and be nice to people what do you want me to do do you want me to just not be a guy or-?". Like I got told that I was a "good one" by someone a few years ago when we were talking about a similar topic in college and that made me just feel weird/off like i am a whole person and stuff if that makes sense. And like i have read Bell Hooks and a few other writers so like i get where we are at at a more overall basis on like gender dynamics and similar stuff but idk its a topic i feel very passionate about and i feel lost in my identity as a person. Side note I know the topic of "Coddling" comes up a lot in this kind of conversation and I honestly don't see a big issue so long as everyone else is like getting the support they need to thrive(which unfortunately i don't think has been happening at a level of levels) and be heard and be seen and stuff, obviously there's a lot of space to improve when it comes to this kind of equation for everyone but I think it's something important we can strive for so that way everyone can be safer and happier and not afraid and stuff.

I am in my mid-20s and am on the spectrum and even though there is a lot of good in my life, I feel a profound terror about dying alone and want to like date people and be human/enough and stuff and i am still a virgin and have only had 1 legitimate mutual IRL relationship before that lasted less than a year. I hate how because I am a guy gender roles(lots of feelings and frustrations about gender roles I wish the left would do more to counteract them) dictate I have to be the one to initiate and like i feel like i did everything i was told to do like not approach people/be friends first and try dating apps and like i am still not enough/nothing is working. I just want to be enough for someone and have a happy mutual relationship and like be seen as an equal human being and love them and they love me back and like marry them hopefully . I am really trying to work on myself with like hygiene putting myself out there etc despite my social anxiety and lack of experience and personal struggles and like do good despite missing a lot of basic growing up milestone/social/romantic support. Sorry for the wall of text, this is just a topic that like I said I feel very passionate about.