05-18-2024, 05:02 PM
Quote:Sorry about the out of focus two shot. Both of them thought the other had checked the shot. Mike was drunk and Jay was HAF. They focused each others' shots IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. And that is NOT Mike in Lousy Carter. The movie Mike is in is called Lousy Farter. He's also in a movie called "Mike thinks he looks less fat when the shot is out of focus". Jay is also in a movie called "Pig was my favorite movie of the last ten years cause I'm a fucking weirdo". So again, Mike and Jay do not have a crew or a budget or anything else worthwhile in life. They do fail upwards constantly. Or rather, fail sideways. Mike continues failing sideways if you know what I mean. Or he like's to call it "Horizontal Expansion". Mike has just purchased stock in a company that makes belts for overweight bovine. They are looking to expand (pun intended) into the human market by selling their leather belts to portly gentlemen. You may wonder why a cow would need a belt? Or why a cow would wear a leather belt in the first place. The answer: Don't ask you scum. It's none of your business. Mike is gonna have over $5,000 dollars in his bank account when this stock goes public rest assured you fucks. Then he's gonna retire and live the good life on a cattle ranch wearing belts made of his friends.
Quote:For those of you (scum) who wish to know who has written this response. It is I, Krebs Gorlon long time RLM pubic relations manager and master of the art of dealing with the pubic. I share Mike's thoughts on these matters. I must admit, I made up the story about Mike investing in cow belts for people. Mike would never invest in such a foolhardy folly after his disaster with Enron. Mike is doing just fine at the moment. That story was what we call "deflection" in the PR biz. It's to get you thinking about Mike wearing a cow belt (a belt made for cows and not a belt made from a cow (although some are) to keep your eyes away from the latest story in the news about Jay. Jay went to Walt's Disney world and was denied entry on the teacup ride. You think the joke might be was that he was too short, but the truth is he was high on cracked-cocaine. Jay was yelling and wearing a tee shirt that read: "Party's Over Fucko". The staff at Walt's Disney world also noticed the track marks on Jay's arms and the fact he was sipping from a flask. That along with the teeshirt gave the staff pause and they made the call to not allow Jay on the ride. Jay threw a tantrum and leapt onto the ride while it was in motion, shattering his pelvis and causing delays in the line up to 3 hours. The incident was captured on cell phone video and can be found on YouTube by searching "Small man breaks pelvis on big teacup ride" however, I urge you not to search for this. Jay is in hospital at the moment and will return to work soon. Mike has told Jay that his "rock star" lifestyle is embarrassing. In an attempt to bring him down to reality Mike has informed Jay that RLM is only the 17,948th most subscribed to channel on YouTube and that he's not so famous he can show up at Walt's Disney World blazing on cracks and causing a pubic scene. This is NOT part of our brand. Stick to belts made for cows or the newest craze, Smart phone necklaces. You know what a lanyard is? You know how elderly people have their casino rewards cards around their neck. I think instead of people keeping their phones in their back or front pockets or even in their purses, all people should wear them around their neck for easy access. I call it a Cell Phone Krebs. I've named this product after myself. Search for it on YouTube by entering in "Small man breaks pelvis on big teacup ride".