Journal of Other Forum Analysis

[benji]

Tyrant has to keep bumping their thread because no one is giving them any attention. 

https://www.resetera.com/threads/dear-cis-people.916938/page-2

im fortunate enough to talk to ppl already about such things, helped greatly over the last 5 years or so (when I finally can out to my dad), but it still a very nice an comforting offer to make to folks regardless

I wish you all the best with this!

As someone who is cis, I've thought it better to keep myself out of the discussion in the sense I'd rather listen to what trans people have to say than insert any of my own thoughts, in the same way I'd hope people would allow me to centre myself as a minority in a different respect. Idk if that is the best way to be an ally but I'm a pretty non-confrontational person haha.

Something that has always worried me a bit regarding this conversation is the unwillingness of some to actually talk to people to help them understand and respect those who are gay, trans, whatever have you. I was, at one point in my life, someone who was incredibly dismissive of the whole thing and was at points downright hostile about it. I don't like admitting it, but it's the truth. I had a couple of people who really took the time to actually talk about it with me and helped me come to an understanding and acceptance to it. I can't thank them enough, and I do wish that there was a little less hostility and more willingness to have those kinds of conversations.

I know, they're difficult and some people won't be changed, some people will be assholes about it. But I think these conversations as a whole are invaluable. I hope this can stay open and I hope that you're able to help people accept others and possibly themselves.

I was, at one point in my life, someone who was incredibly dismissive of the whole thing and was at points downright hostile about it. I don't like admitting it, but it's the truth.

I was the same way, a long time ago. I told all the usual bad homophobic jokes. I never talked to anyone about it, but eventually figured it out on my own that hey... that's me. Took a long time.

quite the selfless offer, and i hope the interactions are nothing but positive and enriching! having someone offer information and a non-judgemental forum for these kinds of conversations is invaluable.

it took me too long to realize i was parroting a lot of ignorant beliefs bestowed upon me by my family and community, let alone before i realized i was trans myself, and i don't doubt that if i had access to information and a patient teacher that i would have been able to bypass a lot of that painful time.

and even just as an avenue for someone who's cis but wants to simply learn more or become a better ally, this kind of offer is incredibly kind and i hope you appreciate how hard doing this kind of thing can be!!

*positive affirmation that could be perceived as a spoiler for a movie*

working my way out of the midnight realm rn

It's a hard path, but you aren't the first, and your efforts will help make it easier for folks that follow.

You've got this.

I really hope this isn't a spoiler or smth 🙏 I've been ignoring threads on it until it releases here on the 26th, it's been a stupidly long wait to see it.

The film is very open to interpretation, and I don't think my post speaks to events in the plot. I'm being intentionally vague here. I had no idea the UK was still stuck waiting, but I'll edit it all the same.

It's cool just wanted to check, sorry to be a pain. You know how few trans films we get and it's annoying having to wait months to finally see it bc of things like this. Have it booked with a friend and excited to see it largely blind beyond the trailer and the praise.

Thanks for all the fighting you do T002 T. 🫡

It's sad but noble when you gotta take up the flag and "play mom" by answering an exhausting amount of questions, but for a greater reason.

Thanks, OP. Hope this can help people learn more so they treat us with more dignity. Or at least have fewer excuses not to.

I wasn't able to u der stand the whole topic until my uncle visited and was now my aunt. She needed decades to feel free enough to tell us. It's always good to learn. Thanks OP.

Thank you for the generous offer, OP. I am thankful for a resource to learn how to usefully support my neighbors and friends.

I hope to be an ally for fellow humans who happen not to share my CIS female identity.

This is a tremendous offer on OP's part.

I was never against/uncomfortable/biased against trans people, but I've come to realize how simply "being okay with" their existence isn't enough. I was fortunate to meet a trans man who bravely disclosed his journey to me and was open and honest about the struggles he had faced his entire life and it completely shifted my views and my understanding of the trans experience into a more proactive/activist mentality. It's really not until you meet someone who's gone through it that you can really understand, empathize and advocate.

I hope people who find themselves with questions (even 'dumb ones') take advantage of this generosity.

I was born there, and lived there just over half my life. Still go back to visit semi regularly. I live in Massachusetts in the US now. At least *currently* it's a much safer place for me to be my true self.

Power to you, OP.

I'm a really simple person. Just let people live their fucking lives. Really isn't difficult.

Yeah good for you doing this OP.!
I've been the person explaining all this sort of thing and being the one people questioning reach out to alot and it can be so so rewarding but obviously can be a stress and sometimes not go the best, hope it all goes ok for you (I would offer the same thing but I'm new here so not too sure about doing that/if it'd be taken up.

I work(ed) alot in helping run trans spaces in a big city for queer people in the UK and have dealt with... alot in my 7 years but back like early 2017 I'll fully admit to being someone who wasn't anti-trans or anything I just had... no idea about any of it bar a few representations in media, took me meeting first 1, then 2 then dozens of trans people in my city to learn and god I made mistakes at first (never be confused about the difference between femme and drag (godamnit it past me)) but I asked questions to the right people who were willing to answer them and now I'm 4 1/2 years on hormones and I wouldn't change it for the world so from that perspective this sort of thing is very useful (as is educating people who are genuinely curiousto know/understand more) <3

wait what's the difference that the op post is highlighted? does it show up somewhere else? it's already the op so... it's already of note 🤔 i don't understand 🤔

Guess what, I don't understand either 😝

I have no idea what happens when mods highlight my post, I thought at first when I got the notification it had gotten pinned (which I don't mind). But I honestly have no idea what highlighting does 😅

Really kind and generous offer - I may well take you up on it, particularly as with my job I sometimes have to talk to students going through a variety of issues and - although I remind myself constantly to listen and not put myself into what they are saying - there are times that I feel like I'm guessing at what good advice is. We're about to go on summer hols so it might not be until September.

I like to think I have some awareness and openness - but recognise that
1) me thinking it doesn't make it real
2) its surface level at best as I don't have lived experience or anything other than second hand information

I do try and recognise as the topic gets more specific in an area that I'm out of my depth and just back off (a lot of people could do well to do the same honestly) but having somewhere to go to discuss that specific point and help me understand would be a really valuable thing - thanks OP

Cannot even begin to imagine. Wish none of this was even necessary, but every little step in cis folks understanding is a good one. Didn't understand some things myself when queer people became more visible at first, but being more sensitive and toning down one's ego helped me to do so. I really applaud your effort.

It's something I do on a voluntary basis but I extend my education and advocacy to neurodivergencies, disabilities, Anti-Colonialism and anti-capitalisim. As I'm partially deaf, neurodivergent, anti-racist and an anti-capitalist I at least teach about disability and being neurodivergent, while supporting and amplifying indigenous and non-caucasian voices without stepping over them, but as a white woman I come from a way of privilege living in a country built on the blood caused by colonisation, and I am forever on a journey of self improvement when it comes to Anti-racisim and Anti-Colonialism. A journey that will continue until my dying breath.

I think if I can get through just to one person on any of the topics I have first hand experience in then I have done at least something.

Yeah, I think intersectionality is important. There's a lot of overlap in the injustices around us, and they impact also the apathetic without them even realizing it. And there's indeed no end to personal growth or education I think. It's always good to be humble. Heck, even making mistakes is a part of the learning process. It's never too late to change one's mind, to listen, to give up prejudices based on cultural norms for example, and to accept fellow human beings - as they are. 👍

Indeed and allies need to know they're not going to be born the perfect ally, they are born into a system that benefits them and rewards them for loyalty. And breaking completely free is difficult, and admitting that one isn't perfect should be encouraged, they shouldn't shy away from that, because admitting faults is the first step towards bettering oneself to become an greater ally.

You absolutely rock, OP! Initiatives like this don't only help the trans community but also society in general. I'm saying this as a cis (privileged af) man. You had no obligation to do it but it's great that you do. Thanks and congrats!

I'm glad you're trained for this stuff and I hope you get a lot of people asking for help.

I was born for it. ✊

Anyway bumping this just in case, one last time.

Actually this will be my last bump on this thread to remind those with questions to ask them, for those in the closet to feel safe to speak with me. You are loved regardless.

Here's the problem. It's reading trans people that makes me less tolerant of them because of how clearly they outline a totalitarian agenda based around a religious cult founded on sexism and I'm not tolerant of totalitarians. I can't "just leave people alone" because they are the ones who articulate that that's clearly not allowed, including with their central demand that I deliberately treat them in a sexist way based on their own personal nonsense. One of the posts above even admits they thought they were an ally because they didn't care what other people did and the trans community has made quite clear that's not acceptable enough. You want to talk about power and privilege? "Trans rights" is an explicit political agenda about giving a very tiny group of sexists extraordinary power and privilege to control everyone else. They can't even stop themselves from talking about wanting to convert others, including children, to their sexist cult and ruin their health with blatant pseudoscience. (Not to mention their lives with deliberately adopting BPD type behavior.) Yeah, I'd love to go back to "just leaving people alone" but that's clearly not an option.