Journal of Other Forum Analysis

[benji]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/i-dont-know-if-its-worth-it-anymore.985251/

So here I am, almost out of money, stuff to pay off, no job, and honestly just considering just giving up, all the result of my dumb arrogance in myself.

I got laid off at the start of the year, and when I got on unemployment, I got into a program about starting a business, I got the idea that, I would finally try to make a game, at least as much as one person could. And in earnest? It wasn't even going bad, I even got good impressions from the demos I produced from it, but ultimately... I needed more time and the program didn't afford unlimited time.

I had also, in my optimism in believing I would get it done in time, paid for stuff, I shouldn't have.

So, I decided to bite the bullet, admit I couldn't get it done in time, and in early August, started applying for jobs.

After now almost 2 months, I have applied for nearly 90 jobs and the response has been to basically: "Fuck off".

Some might remember me making a thread about getting into the Gaming Industry in a Junior level role, while yes, many of the jobs I did apply for where in such positions, I also applied for many that were just general Tech Industry jobs. Ones that fit my College degree and Programming know-how. Even those have been flunks and the best one I could potentially get basically told me: "We will at least glance at your resume in 6 - 8 weeks." Unfortunately, that wasn't at the start of August, so I am not even potentially close to that one.

So i thought, if I could just you know, maybe hold out, so I decided to open up Art Commissions. At least something, to get some money to help pay for stuff and wait to see about the jobs I applied for.

After all, I've done art for years now, while I'm not some AAA Artist, I am pretty decent and always improving. Since I hadn't done Art Commissions before, I decided to keep the price relatively low at $30 (which for anyone who isn't aware is quite on the low end), and you get a 3/4th body fully rendered piece of art. Even with the support of artists friends who are much bigger than I am, we couldn't get anymore to commission to me. So in the end, I only got 1 commission, from someone who is already a fairly long time good friend.

I don't drive, I am deathly afraid of being put behind the wheel of a car and so if I did get a retail job, I would be spending a lot of money every single day just getting to and from work. Hence why I was trying to go for Remote Work, after all, my last job went fully Remote during the Pandemic and that really helped me out.

So now...

I'm almost out of money.

No one wants to hire me.

No one wants to commission me.

I have stuff that needs to get paid off.

I am stressed out of my goddamn mind and I don't see any sign of hope. At this point, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't just go walk into traffic or something, I have been so thoroughly rejected by everything. And this is all my fault. When I lost my job originally back in January, I should have just tried for a job right there and then, I had the money at the time to not worry for a good long while... But that's what I did, I was stupid and now I'm paying the price.

https://kalentanvtuber.carrd.co/

Stream starts about six minutes in, talks about job hunt and game he's working on almost right away, he can't work on game cuz of stress:

Spoiler: are these all commissions he's paid for? lol (click to show)(click to hide)

Terms of Service!
It is assumed that all of this has been read prior to submitting your commission!

1. The art provided to the client will not be used to train ANY AI Program
2. The provided art must be credited to the Artist and is allowed to be used in a Personal Portfolio and Social Media, during and after the completion of the art. Please credit my social media account when posting the piece.
3. Commercial Rights to the Art is not included in the base price, and will cost 2x of the overall Price (Including the Add-Ons).
4. I will not be accepting any requests that can be deemed as NSFW or contains offensive imagery.
5. I have the right to refuse a commission if the Request does not follow the Terms of Service.
6. In the circumstance that I am not able to complete the Commission due to an issue on my own end (i.e. an emergency), I will refund the Client the amount paid for the Commission.
7. In the circumstance that the Client engages in repeated unprofessional behavior, such as harassment, the Commission will be cancelled without refund.
8. If the Client wishes the art to not be made public upon completion, please make note of that in the request. However, depending on the length of time, there may be additional Holding Fees of $10.
9. All commissions are offered 2 revisions during the Sketching Phase and none more, any other minor changes can be discussed with the Artist.
10. Any major changes that wish to be made to the art per the Client's request, must be done prior to the rendering phase, ideally during the Sketching phase.


Commission Information
> Commissions are accepted on Ko-Fi
>Art will be provided ONLY as Digital Files

Do's
------------
> People
> Furry (Note Wings can be a trouble point)

Don'ts
-------------
> Blood and Gore
> Offensive Content
> NSFW / Explicit Content
> Mechas

Ko-Fi Page
---------------
https://ko-fi.com/kalentuber