Kulturkampf

[Nintex]

CNN numbers guy has been totally in the tank for Trump since the beginning. Every time he shows numbers, it's the same playbook.

"Look this is how Clinton and Bush performed among college graduates"

*CNN anchor nods and listens*

"But now this is Biden and Harris, look at this a negative 79 points in our 5 person focus group and this is a pattern, look at these people that shop at Amazon, that's minus 0.3% way way way down from where Obama was. If you look at the map, your home state Ohio. Look at that, all red. Then we zoom over here. Look at this they could lose Colorado to Trump if these numbers hold, I'm not saying they will but they could."

*CNN anchor gasps* "So how is Trump doing?"

"Well this is very INTERESTING. People seem to like TRUMP, WOW he is 19 points higher among the most unlikely unregistered voters and look at this, Trump is absolutely killing it! From -39.3 to -39.2 More Jews than ever love Trump. These might look like small numbers but make no mistake just a 0.1% gain across all voting groups in this county could flip New York to Trump. And then we look at the EV, just purely hypothetical and this is really interesting. We add New York to Trump, we add Vermont, we add California to Trump and look at that number of Electoral Votes. I'm not saying it will happen but it could happen. Trump could be the next Reagan."

*CNN anchor nervously stares at the screen* "But the Democrats will do better with the other voting groups like African Americans right?"

"Well that is an uphill battle too, Trump is crushing it with African Americans, Chinese Americans, Muslim Americans basically every voter group shows massive leads for Trump. Even of black women only 85% say they dislike Trump but when in 2016 this was still at 50%. Look at where he was last time and look at where he is now. Donald Trump is CRUSHING it. Based on these numbers.... of course."

*CNN anchor is dead inside* "But if 85% of black women hate Trump that's actually worse than 50% right?"

"Yes, but they are a very small voting group and this number hasn't changed in months so I would be very happy if I was Trump right now. Remember this is just a small sample but looking at this data we haven't seen numbers like this in a long time. In fact you have to go back all the way to Reagans landslide to find a Republican or really any President in general this popular among casino strippers."

*CNN anchor quickly turns* "Ok, thank you for explaining to us. Now remember folks these are just numbers and stats not actual votes this race is still too close to call"