Conspiracy Theories

[TylenolJones]

S

[Ethan]

Not gonna lie, suffering from this kind of mental illness must be pretty cool.

[Cauliflower Of Love]

S

I saw both of these things within a few hours and thought the same thing. 

fun fact:

[benji]

[benji]

[benji]

Spoiler:  (click to show)(click to hide)

[TylenolJones]

[Nintex]

[Uncle]

https://michaelmhughes.medium.com/blue-wave-2-0-a-magical-spell-to-save-america-2bc2712d6538

blah blah blah "when I was a young boy, my father always" jesus these are just like trying to look up recipes online

Our first Blue Wave spell, which I published in October of 2018 in advance of the midterm elections, was a massive success, with Democrats taking control of the House of Representatives and the bold, new presence of many more women and people of color (including the famous Squad). Without the Democrat-led House, we could never have impeached the president or discovered the real extent of his crimes and abuses of power.

yeah my dude I'm sure it was all you, your spell

Timing
Do this ritual as frequently as possible until the election, if possible. Noon is best, midnight is also a good time, but do it whenever you have the opportunity.

Many groups and individuals will be doing this Blue Wave spell on Halloween night, October 31st, under the full blue moon. Serendipitously, this blue Halloween moon will be the first time the moon will be visible to the entire globe, and not just parts of it, since WWII. Is there a better time to work spells against Nazis? Please join us at 11:59pm on Halloween night!

Most importantly, do this magical working the night of Monday, November 2nd. Then go out on Tuesday, November 3rd and vote!

Components
Blue candle (I recommend a glass-enclosed novena/prayer candle, but any type of candle will do). You can print out and apply the Bind Trump sigil (symbol) to the candle if you wish.
Small red candle (ideally, one that has never been lit)
Black and white printout of the United States (you can use the one below; right/control click, save, and print)
Blue paint and brush, crayons, markers, or colored pencils. Blue paint is especially good because it is largely water.
Justice tarot card (or print of one)
Pin or nail (to inscribe candle)
Optional: Photos of candidates you are supporting, their campaign literature, or other election materials
Optional: items from your own spiritual or magical tradition and/or photos of people of power—Ruth Bader Ginsburg, perhaps, or (as on my altar) my former Congressman (and Trump foe) The Honorable Elijah Cummings.

Preparation
If you have an altar, use it. If you don’t have an altar, clear a quiet, private space to serve as one. A table or desk top is fine.

If you like incense, burn a fragrance that pleases you.

Use the pin or nail to inscribe the words Blue Wave in the wax of the blue candle. If you’re using a prayer/novena candle, carve it into the top of the candle near the wick. Place the candle in a central spot on your altar.

Take the printout of the map of the United States and place it on your altar space with your blue paints, markers, or pencils.

Place the Justice tarot card on your altar. You can lean it up against the blue candle if you’d like.

If you are using photos or literature of candidates you are supporting, arrange them around the blue candle.

With the pin or nail, carve TRUMP GOP in the red candle. If your candle is too small to carve, just say (with contempt) “You are Donald Trump and the Republican Party!” while holding the candle. Place it on your altar in front of the blue candle (lying on its side is fine).

Prepare for ritual per your tradition (if you have one), meditate for a moment, or just take a few deep breaths to center yourself. You are now ready to begin.


Light the blue candle, then say:

Hear me, oh spirits
Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Heavenly hosts
and spirits of the ancestors

I call upon you
In this hour of need
And request your aid
To save my country and its people
From the grip of tyrants and evildoers

Raise a mighty blue wave, spirits
A wave of justice, and mercy, and truth
To wash away the corruption
And injustice
And wickedness
Of Donald Trump and the Republican Party
In a peaceful transition of power

Take your paintbrush, marker, or pencil, and begin coloring the map. Fill it in completely with blue. During this process, visualize an enormous wave of blue water washing over and cleansing the land. You don’t have to be neat and color within the lines—the important thing is that you feel the powerful wave of blue voters filling in the map. Make splashy water noises. Get into it!

You could also repeat phrases or ad lib as you color in the map: “Wash away the Nazis, wash away the hate” or similar.

If there are states in which you have a particular focus (critical swing states, perhaps, or those with tight races), spend extra energy coloring them in.

When you’re done turning the map blue, place it (face-up) under the blue candle.

Hold your hands out, palms facing the candle.

Water, may you wash away corruption and injustice
Earth, may you bury the rot and sickness of authoritarianism
Fire, may you fuel the desire of all good people to vote
Air, may you carry truth and honesty on your winds

Pick up the red candle.

Donald Trump and the Republican Party, by your wickedness, you are broken
Donald Trump and the Republican Party, by your deception, you are broken
Donald Trump and the Republican Party, by your corruption, you are broken

Say with absolute contempt and fury:

Your power is broken!* (you may target particular Republicans by name here; see Notes below)

Snap the red candle, feeling the power of the entire Trump administration and the GOP breaking and shattering. Hear their cries of despair. Place the pieces of the red candle in front of the blue candle.

Donald Trump and the Republican Party, you shall be ground to sand beneath the waves

Again, hold your hands out to the blue candle. Then say, with increasing power while visualizing a huge blue wave rising and washing over a map of the United States:

Blue Wave, rise!
Blue Wave, wash over the land!
Blue Wave, cleanse!
Blue Wave, renew!* (You can add candidate names here; see notes below)

End the ritual with a prayer, clasping your hands.

May the sword of Justice prevail
May those who have embraced hate find love
May those who have gone astray
Find the path of righteousness
Forgive them, spirits
Break the chains that bind them
Open their eyes
Fill their hearts with mercy

For the sake of democracy
For the sake of the Union
For the sake of the earth
For the sake of all sentient beings

So mote it be!

Allow the blue candle to burn as long as you would like, radiating its energy. When you blow it out, say “thank you.” Light the candle every day and say a prayer for victory, even if you don’t do the full spell.

Dispose of the broken red candle remnants at a crossroads (a trash can or dumpster near a crossroads is ideal), in running water, or bury it in a desolate place. Treat it as if it’s rotten, toxic garbage.

If you have used campaign literature on your altar, give it out before the election or at the polls.

 

boy imagine if the dems randomly decided that blue didn't represent them and changed to green or something

"no no no nooooo all our spells focused on blue-ness"

 

NOTES & VARIANTS
Please feel free to change the wording to suit your spiritual practice or tradition. Christians and Jews, for example, might omit the four directions and “spirits” and simply say “God.” Atheists and agnostics can appeal to the Universe. Adjust and tweak as you see fit. The important thing is that you do it, with intention and with all of the spiritual power and personal energy you can summon.

what the fuck? what a stupid-ass spell, just change out whatever deity you want?

...why doesn't he list instructions for islam?

[DavidCroquet]

[benji]

Timing
Do this ritual as frequently as possible until the election, if possible. Noon is best, midnight is also a good time, but do it whenever you have the opportunity.

Once a day doesn't seem "as frequently as possible"?

[HeavenIsAPlaceOnEarth]

Timing
Do this ritual as frequently as possible until the election, if possible. Noon is best, midnight is also a good time, but do it whenever you have the opportunity.

Once a day doesn't seem "as frequently as possible"?

Doing it more than once a day is too much of a strain on your vital essences and your precious fluids.

[TylenolJones]

Counting down the minutes.

[Nintex]

Is this the secret Elon Musk and Trump hinted at?

[D3RANG3D]

[TylenolJones]

[Nintex]

[TylenolJones]

Hope we don’t see more North Korean subs this time.

[benji]

White Hats, he added, quickly acquired the names of current employees at WNEP and probed their backgrounds for ties to either Kamala Harris or other Democratic candidates. A cursory investigation didn’t thin the herd, for all of WNEP’s on-air personalities and production team had contributed financially to the campaigns of Kamala Harris and Senator Bob Cassey (D-PA). The newsroom clearly had no impartiality; it was one hundred percent Team Harris and suffering from that incurable ailment known as Trump Derangement Syndrome.

The White Hats then targeted what they believed to be the “weakest link” in WNEP’s hierarchical structure: a lowly production assistant named Stephen Stimesworth. Although he was absent from work the day the graphic aired, he had contributed several thousand dollars to Democrats. He also kept 31 “sock puppet” social media accounts, which he used to besmirch Trump and shill for Harris.

“This guy was terminally online posting. It’s amazing he had time to do any real work. We didn’t think he pushed the graphic live—he didn’t have that kind of authority. But we figured he might know the person who did or was complicit,” our source said.

On Thursday, Halloween night, Stimesworth was home alone handing out candy to trick-or-treaters and unaware that US Marines parked in a civilian van across the street from his Moosic, PA, home were surveilling him and awaiting a chance to pounce. At 9:30 p.m. Stimesworth hung a sign on door that read “no more candy.” He couldn’t have known that the next doorknockers had no sweet tooth for chocolate, Skittles, Sweet Tarts, or candy corn. They craved something else: the truth.

And they did not knock politely. Rather, they stormed the house, smashing the door from its hinges with a battering ram and charging inside with weapons drawn. Our source said they wanted to impress upon Stimesworth the severity of the situation, of his situation.

Our source added that Stimesworth folded like a lawn chair under interrogation, denying involvement but claiming to know who at the station created the graphic. He implicated WNEP technology director Mike Morkavage, a relatively obscure 20-year-long employee at WNEP. Stimesworth claimed that Morkavage manufactured the faux Harris victory but was not responsible for shoving it live into the faces of thousands of viewers during the F1 race.

As time was of the essence, the Marines decided to visit Morkavage immediately instead of waiting for Marine Corps Forces Cyberspace Command to review his background, which would have taken considerable time. Since they couldn’t risk Stimesworth alerting Morkavage or other WNEP employees to their presence, they arrested him as a potential accomplice.

The Marines arrived outside Morkavage’s Wilks-Barre domicile at 1:00 a.m. After disabling a home security system, they entered the residence and found Morkavage sleeping in the nude beside an unidentified 20-something male, with Morkavage, the sick bastard, “spooning” his lascivious liaison.

“Our guys injected the unknown with a fast active sedative then woke up Morkavage. He screamed ‘holy shit’ seeing a dozen Marines hovering over the bed he shared with his gay lover. The Marines questioned him, but he denied everything. In fact, he said he supported Trump, but evidence around and outside the home told a different story. He had a dozen Harris-Walz lawn flags and bumper stickers for them on both his cars. Also an LGBQT+ pride flag. More than that, there were anti-Trump news clippings all over his house. We felt we had one of the responsible parties, even if he himself didn’t show the visual on air,” our source said.

The Marines, he said in closing, arrested Morkavage on charges of treason, election interference, and intent to willfully disseminate enemy propaganda.

“We’ll find out who else is behind it, even though the election is tomorrow,” he said.

[Nintex]

[TylenolJones]

Liberal Jan 6th incoming?

[benji]

[Nintex]

Trumps real secret

[TylenolJones]

🤞

[Cauliflower Of Love]

candance must have some crazy shit in her closet

[Nintex]

🤞

[HeavenIsAPlaceOnEarth]

What is that vehicle and how do I get one?

I wanna drive as the crow flies.

[benji]

[Nintex]

[Gameboy Nostalgia]

The math isn't mathing..