Journal of Other Forum Analysis
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mars peopl wrote:How was the original book problematic?

edmond dantes wrote:The Orientalism was rife in the book as well as a great deal of misogyny.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/disney’s-shōgun-breaks-mould-with-careful-respect-for-japanese-culture.823179/?post=119952456#post-119952456

Book about English people meeting Japanese for the first time in 16th century btw
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So the Tifa swimsuit they've been raging about for around two weeks now was just one of several options you can use? With the way they were going about it, you'd think that bikini was the only option. And again, that bikini is pretty average/normal, so even if it was the sole option, it still didn't deserve the hysteria from them.
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(03-02-2024, 04:21 PM)Averon wrote: So the Tifa swimsuit they've been raging about for around two weeks now was just one of several options you an use? With the way they were going about it, you'd think that bikini was the only option. And again, that bikini is pretty average/normal, so even if it was the sole option, it still didn't deserve the hysteria from them.

Wouldn't surprise me if they're still mad that they exist at all
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(03-02-2024, 07:19 AM)benji wrote:

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(03-02-2024, 03:45 PM)kaleidoscopium wrote:
mars peopl wrote:How was the original book problematic?

edmond dantes wrote:The Orientalism was rife in the book as well as a great deal of misogyny.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/disney’s-shōgun-breaks-mould-with-careful-respect-for-japanese-culture.823179/?post=119952456#post-119952456

Book about English people meeting Japanese for the first time in 16th century btw
Whenever RE calls something problematic I instantly assume that it's probably not
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(03-02-2024, 04:33 PM)HaughtyFrank wrote:
(03-02-2024, 03:45 PM)kaleidoscopium wrote:
mars peopl wrote:How was the original book problematic?

edmond dantes wrote:The Orientalism was rife in the book as well as a great deal of misogyny.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/disney’s-shōgun-breaks-mould-with-careful-respect-for-japanese-culture.823179/?post=119952456#post-119952456

Book about English people meeting Japanese for the first time in 16th century btw
Whenever RE calls something problematic I instantly assume that it's probably not

Good mindset to have
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It does their cause no good arguing MtF criminals that raped women should be in women prisons. Fair or not, that prospect is gonna immediately get side-eye from the general public. It also gives ammo to anti-Trans groups that "trans rights" is at the cost of women's rights and safety.

Sometimes you gotta pick your battles, and this one is a losing one for them, but they continue to push and push it.
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(03-02-2024, 03:45 PM)kaleidoscopium wrote:
mars peopl wrote:How was the original book problematic?

edmond dantes wrote:The Orientalism was rife in the book as well as a great deal of misogyny.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/disney’s-shōgun-breaks-mould-with-careful-respect-for-japanese-culture.823179/?post=119952456#post-119952456

Book about English people meeting Japanese for the first time in 16th century btw

I'm not as educated about 16th century Japan as Prof. Edmond Dantes, but I would put forth the novel idea that there WAS "a great deal of misogyny" in 16th century Japan and in Europe.

But what do I know? *shrug*

I recently learned that small medieval villages in Bohemia were full of people from around the globe. Also the availability of Black Hair styles was a big concern for them back then.
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Averon dateline='[url=tel:1709396500' wrote: 1709396500[/url]']
So the Tifa swimsuit they've been raging about for around two weeks now was just one of several options you can use? With the way they were going about it, you'd think that bikini was the only option. And again, that bikini is pretty average/normal, so even if it was the sole option, it still didn't deserve the hysteria from them.

I saw a woman in the gym who had a very similar physique to Tifa and showed her the bikini footage in question and asked what she thought about it and showing nip nop, I’m now looking for a new gym as I was banned for harassment
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(03-02-2024, 04:24 PM)HaughtyFrank wrote:
(03-02-2024, 04:21 PM)Averon wrote: So the Tifa swimsuit they've been raging about for around two weeks now was just one of several options you an use? With the way they were going about it, you'd think that bikini was the only option. And again, that bikini is pretty average/normal, so even if it was the sole option, it still didn't deserve the hysteria from them.

Wouldn't surprise me if they're still mad that they exist at all

https://www.resetera.com/threads/why-women-criticise-sexualised-character-designs-ot3-make-her-look-more-corpulent-more-stuffed-where-the-eyes-cant-escape.275780/page-329?post=119949798#post-119949798

Messofanego wrote:Of course, there's still a sexualised male gaze there that can't be simply changed like costumes.

They just hate anything that heterosexual men find appealing. That's the entire foundation of that entire thread, to put it bluntly. Anything else they say are just excuses and cope to justify that foundational point.
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That's a word they throw around like capitalism, they don't actually know what it means other than it has to do with the Orientals, so they think it looks smart to describe a historical depiction of a closed xenophobic society as such.

edit: "male gaze" is another good example, thanks Messofanego.
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(03-02-2024, 05:17 AM)Boredfrom wrote:
Hentz wrote:Two women can be friends, you know?
ClickerCarl wrote:/s?

These women clearly aren't.
Neoxon wrote:Yeah, but there's a clear difference between platonic friendship & yuri. Splatoon has both.

Think of it like JJK, except Pearlina is MUCH more blatant than Gojo x Geto.
 
omfg 

stopmrdomino wrote:they're gay as hell and it's a you problem if you can't extrapolate that from the content

Social Justice Warrior 2

https://www.resetera.com/threads/will-pearlina-pearlxmarina-be-confirmed-canon-in-side-order.751858/page-2?post=119948463#post-119947689

I love how Clicker Carl and stopmrdomino got hyper aggressive for the mere suggestion of that possibility while Neoxon mention his male OTP from a shonen anime.  lol

Getting angry that people don't share your head-cannon that characters that look like 10-year old kids are lesbians... Kobeyuck
Of course they'd be the first ones to make fun of the creepy 1000-year old dragon character archetype...and rightly at that. But this doesn't count because????
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(03-02-2024, 04:48 PM)Averon wrote: It does their cause no good arguing MtF criminals that raped women should be in women prisons. Fair or not, that prospect is gonna immediately get side-eye from the general public. It also gives ammo to anti-Trans groups that "trans rights" is at the cost of women's rights and safety.

Sometimes you gotta pick your battles, and this one is a losing one for them, but they continue to push and push it.

They can't capitulate here, it would bring down the whole house. Trans women are women.

Raped a woman, but identify as a trans woman? U are woman. 40, and decided to transition via social media a couple days ago? Woman.

It's human rights we're talking about here
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Are you saying women who rape women aren't women? TERFs not obsess about gender and leave people alone challenge (impossible). Social Justice Warrior
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(03-02-2024, 05:17 AM)Boredfrom wrote:
Hentz wrote:Two women can be friends, you know?
ClickerCarl wrote:/s?

These women clearly aren't.
Neoxon wrote:Yeah, but there's a clear difference between platonic friendship & yuri. Splatoon has both.

Think of it like JJK, except Pearlina is MUCH more blatant than Gojo x Geto.
 
omfg 

stopmrdomino wrote:they're gay as hell and it's a you problem if you can't extrapolate that from the content

Social Justice Warrior 2

https://www.resetera.com/threads/will-pearlina-pearlxmarina-be-confirmed-canon-in-side-order.751858/page-2?post=119948463#post-119947689

I love how Clicker Carl and stopmrdomino got hyper aggressive for the mere suggestion of that possibility while Neoxon mention his male OTP from a shonen anime.  lol
They're always so mad when anyone even brings up the possibility. Like they need to scream loud enough or it stops being real to them

Neoxon explaining it by bringing up another imaginary couple is hilarious . (Unless the manga goes some crazy places lol)
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(03-02-2024, 06:05 PM)HaughtyFrank wrote: They're always so mad when anyone even brings up the possibility. Like they need to scream loud enough or it stops being real to them
IF YOU STOP CLAPPING TINKERBELL WILL DIE Rage
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(03-02-2024, 05:50 PM)Averon wrote:
(03-02-2024, 05:17 AM)Boredfrom wrote:
Hentz wrote:Two women can be friends, you know?
ClickerCarl wrote:/s?

These women clearly aren't.
Neoxon wrote:Yeah, but there's a clear difference between platonic friendship & yuri. Splatoon has both.

Think of it like JJK, except Pearlina is MUCH more blatant than Gojo x Geto.
 
omfg 

stopmrdomino wrote:they're gay as hell and it's a you problem if you can't extrapolate that from the content

Social Justice Warrior 2

https://www.resetera.com/threads/will-pearlina-pearlxmarina-be-confirmed-canon-in-side-order.751858/page-2?post=119948463#post-119947689

I love how Clicker Carl and stopmrdomino got hyper aggressive for the mere suggestion of that possibility while Neoxon mention his male OTP from a shonen anime.  lol

Getting angry that people don't share your head-cannon that characters that look like 10-year old kids are lesbians... Kobeyuck
Of course they'd be the first ones to make fun of the creepy 1000-year old dragon character archetype...and rightly at that. But this doesn't count because????

Why did Messy, the hyper progressive feminist, bought a wife?
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Probably because he was facing a prison sentence if he got caught again
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https://www.resetera.com/threads/for-fans-of-the-2016-ghostbusters-team-you-should-check-out-the-comic.823251/

Sickos (Batman edition)
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(03-02-2024, 06:05 PM)HaughtyFrank wrote:
(03-02-2024, 05:17 AM)Boredfrom wrote:
Hentz wrote:Two women can be friends, you know?
ClickerCarl wrote:/s?

These women clearly aren't.
Neoxon wrote:Yeah, but there's a clear difference between platonic friendship & yuri. Splatoon has both.

Think of it like JJK, except Pearlina is MUCH more blatant than Gojo x Geto.
 
omfg 

stopmrdomino wrote:they're gay as hell and it's a you problem if you can't extrapolate that from the content

Social Justice Warrior 2

https://www.resetera.com/threads/will-pearlina-pearlxmarina-be-confirmed-canon-in-side-order.751858/page-2?post=119948463#post-119947689

I love how Clicker Carl and stopmrdomino got hyper aggressive for the mere suggestion of that possibility while Neoxon mention his male OTP from a shonen anime.  lol
They're always so mad when anyone even brings up the possibility. Like they need to scream loud enough or it stops being real to them

Neoxon explaining it by bringing up another imaginary couple is hilarious . (Unless the manga goes some crazy places lol)

They made their LGBT fetish a progressive civil rights issue.

"Oh, so you don't believe my imagined head-cannon that they are totally gay? Why are you such a homophobic piece of shit?"
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https://www.resetera.com/threads/comedy-legend-katt-williams-accuses-cedric-the-entertainer-steve-harvey-and-others-of-joke-stealing-and-collusion.801690/page-7?post=119922666#post-119922666

krazen wrote:Yeah, I love Katt but like I said super early in the thread he's had mental issues for a minute and while he called lots of things out not surprising Joe Rogan is the one to bring him on and have him go on terrible tangents.
Mental health issues don't make you a bigot. ufup
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(03-02-2024, 06:29 PM)Averon wrote:
(03-02-2024, 06:05 PM)HaughtyFrank wrote:
(03-02-2024, 05:17 AM)Boredfrom wrote:  
omfg 


Social Justice Warrior 2

https://www.resetera.com/threads/will-pearlina-pearlxmarina-be-confirmed-canon-in-side-order.751858/page-2?post=119948463#post-119947689

I love how Clicker Carl and stopmrdomino got hyper aggressive for the mere suggestion of that possibility while Neoxon mention his male OTP from a shonen anime.  lol
They're always so mad when anyone even brings up the possibility. Like they need to scream loud enough or it stops being real to them

Neoxon explaining it by bringing up another imaginary couple is hilarious . (Unless the manga goes some crazy places lol)

They made their LGBT fetish a progressive civil rights issue.

"Oh, so yo don't believe my imagined head-cannon that they are totally gay? Why are you such a homophobic piece of shit?"

It might be a mandela effect but I believe the Splatoon creater talked about this years ago and said that they probably had boyfriends? Thinking
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Quote:Anyone think we need to rename the thread to something along the lines of "Alleged Comedian" rather than comedy legend? 🙄
https://www.resetera.com/threads/comedy-legend-katt-williams-accuses-cedric-the-entertainer-steve-harvey-and-others-of-joke-stealing-and-collusion.801690/post-119963007

Implied Facepalm
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They sure have a lot of problems with Black comedians. hmm
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Like when they decided to hate Terry Crews for having the crazy belief that boys should have male role models. 

Katt is a religious dude. He’s opened up his home to adopted kids in need and donates heaps of his wealth. By any objective metric, he’s orders of magnitude a better person than anybody on era. He’s also taller than the mods, which no doubt feeds into the bitterness.

Top of the page deleted Terry Crews scene from Click #ReleasetheCoraciCut

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(03-02-2024, 04:48 PM)Averon wrote: It does their cause no good arguing MtF criminals that raped women should be in women prisons. Fair or not, that prospect is gonna immediately get side-eye from the general public. It also gives ammo to anti-Trans groups that "trans rights" is at the cost of women's rights and safety.

Sometimes you gotta pick your battles, and this one is a losing one for them, but they continue to push and push it.

As a former correctional officer; I guarantee everyone that letting male inmates transition and go into female prisons is dangerous.

FULL STOP!! Big Yikes, Ooofff, That's not it chief. (for Resetters reading)

Inmates will abuse any system put in place just to get a small benefit.

Example: Once a week for about an hour inmates can go to a religious service. Some go just to get out of their cell for a while.
A clever guy in my prison realized there was no Sikh service. So he and all his white Aryan Brotherhood friends all "converted" to Sikhism . They all got to sit together once a week and talk about whatever they wanted. We were letting a litteral white supremacist gang have a meeting in the name of "religious freedom rights for inmates!!". FYI we dealt with it our own way.

News Flash!! (for the naive) Every inmate that would like to sexualy abuse a woman just one last time is going to use every trick in the book to convince anyone who will listen they are a trans woman.

This isn't some issue like participation in sports or pronouns. This will result in more assaults, more physical battery, more threats, more intimidation more rape, more deaths of women. And it will be done by men already in prison convicted of those same crimes. Doing that seems criminally negligent if you ask a humble CO.

Listen, we had inmates we couldn't keep with other inmates because they were too dangerous. Suddenly they want to declare they are a woman and switch to a female prison? WTF people!  And the fact that people are calling themselves feminists while pushing for this is insane. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Sorry for the rambling rant. This topic gets me heated.
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Kyuuji has reliably informed me that literally nobody would ever pretend to be a woman for personal gain or to get away with something
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Men and white cishet women lie, queer women don't. ufup
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(03-02-2024, 07:48 PM)killamajig wrote:
(03-02-2024, 04:48 PM)Averon wrote: It does their cause no good arguing MtF criminals that raped women should be in women prisons. Fair or not, that prospect is gonna immediately get side-eye from the general public. It also gives ammo to anti-Trans groups that "trans rights" is at the cost of women's rights and safety.

Sometimes you gotta pick your battles, and this one is a losing one for them, but they continue to push and push it.

As a former correctional officer; I guarantee everyone that letting male inmates transition and go into female prisons is dangerous.

FULL STOP!! Big Yikes, Ooofff, That's not it chief. (for Resetters reading)

Inmates will abuse any system put in place just to get a small benefit.

Example: Once a week for about an hour inmates can go to a religious service. Some go just to get out of their cell for a while.
A clever guy in my prison realized there was no Sikh service. So he and all his white Aryan Brotherhood friends all "converted" to Sikhism . They all got to sit together once a week and talk about whatever they wanted. We were letting a litteral white supremacist gang have a meeting in the name of "religious freedom rights for inmates!!". FYI we dealt with it our own way.

News Flash!! (for the naive) Every inmate that would like to sexualy abuse a woman just one last time is going to use every trick in the book to convince anyone who will listen they are a trans woman.

This isn't some issue like participation in sports or pronouns. This will result in more assaults, more physical battery, more threats, more intimidation more rape, more deaths of women. And it will be done by men already in prison convicted of those same crimes. Doing that seems criminally negligent if you ask a humble CO.

Listen, we had inmates we couldn't keep with other inmates because they were too dangerous. Suddenly they want to declare they are a woman and switch to a female prison? WTF people!  And the fact that people are calling themselves feminists while pushing for this is insane. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Sorry for the rambling rant. This topic gets me heated.
Totally reasonable, first-hand account, and yet here would be ResetERA's response to all that:
User Banned (Permanently): Dismissing concerns regarding Transphobia; Engaging in Transphobia; Spewing TERF rhetoric
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I think a lot of you would do well to sit down, shut up and listen to this important post that's going around:
https://www.tumblr.com/bite-my-grimy-fleshy-ass/742782398335516672/a-cute-guy-likes-me-on-a-dating-app-after wrote:A cute guy likes me on a dating app. After chatting with them for weeks, we decide to go on a date. They are very flirtatious and forward over the app, but not when we meet in person. He admits he thought I was transmasc like him, we laugh about it because his mistake is funny and means I'm not passing but in a silly backwards way. I think his sudden awkwardness in person may be nervousness and flirt with him in ways less forward and aggressive than he'd been flirting with me earlier, and they become cold and distant for the rest of the date. By the time I get home they've blocked me on the app we met on. This case of being mistaken as a transmasc on a dating app will happen 3 more times, and in 2/3 times it results in a similar sudden lack of interest where once they were coming on to me. None of these people will be cis.

I am in a self defense class for queer people, learning hand to hand combat as a community. I have been here months. I notice I'm the only transfem in the classes but there are other trans people there so I don't think much of it. Today I have some stubble as I did not have time to shave before the early morning class. When discussing unrealistic action movie and anime fight scenes I describe on of my favorites, quoting the lines as I pantomime the goofy moves. They smile and laugh along until the word bitch leaves my lips in one quote, then the bisexual woman who only ever they/thems me glares at me like I've committed a grevious crime, and the rest of the class looks at me like a freak in awkward silence for a moment before moving on. I learn bitch is not a word a clocky bitch can "reclaim". I am quiet in classes now, and when I go I focus primarily on the training, when I see other trans women try it out they often give me a sad look and do not return for a second class. I get a sinking feeling that if I ever use this training to save my life one day I'd be branded a violent man instead of a strong woman.

I am texting with a good friend of years who was one of the people who helped me realize I was trans like them and even the one who helped pick out my name loves talking about our shared interests and sharing their favorite smut with me. We bond over favorite stories, artists, characters, and kinks as well as our trans experience. Yet they constantly tell me they could never date someone who's AMAB because of the trauma of being "female socialized" and their genital preferences for vulvas. Every compliment they have ever given me on my appearance or outfit is followed up by "but in a non-sexual way, I could never date you". Today I finally have the courage tell them they don't need to say that every time. They ignore this response. We keep talking for awhile, but they start taking months to respond to my messages and respond with a short sentence at most. They no longer share details about their life and shut me out when I ask or share details about mine, even the most mundane and chaste details. I stop talking to them. A birthday gift I bought them months before this falling out happened looms at me in my closet. I cannot use it as it doesn't fit me but can't bring myself to throw it away, just in case we reconcile one day. I feel pathetic for craving friendship with someone who sees me as "abuser-bodied", that so much of my early stages would've been impossible without their help. I feel a little more lost without them.

I am at a queer/trans/enby kink dance party with some friends. I am scantily clad and wearing a skirt and high heeled boots. I do not pass well so this space is one of the few places I feel safe and free dressing like this. It is packed with queer and trans people just like me engaged in delightful debauchery and wearing very little. The music hurts my ears but I'm happy to be here, I feel overstimulated but alive and authentic. I am approached by a beautiful stranger from across the dance floor, she is graceful and stylish, like some modern Galadriel clad in leather, white lace, and industrial piercings with impeccable voice training. She compliments my outfit, I compliment hers. She tells me I need to shave my armpits if I want to look like a real woman. My two friends stand up for me and yell at her. They assure me she was just being an asshole, that women were supposed to be hairy, but I can't help but notice how both of them have hairy armpits and yet the "advice" targeted me. The wide range of bodies that people here tonight find desirable on cis women don't seem to apply to the women like me. I am the only one of us that doesn't go home with a hookup at the end of the night. I realize now she likely spoke from experience. I am still hurt by her words, but realizing the kinds of experiences she must have had herself to feel her words were kind advice hurts far worse.

A local queer photographer who's work I follow is looking for women & non-binary models for a photoshoot. I have become comfortable with getting photos taken of me for the first time in my life since my egg cracked, and had a few small time modeling gigs under my belt. With something like this I could actually have the beginnings of a portfolio. I reach and am told that they are not looking for trans women models, "only women and AFABs". Getting the same line I get from agencies from an independent queer photographer repackaged in "woke" terminology stings. I see many queer and nonbinary models I looked up to take part in the shoot. I have to wonder if they knew that the photographer's definition of woman didn't include trans women, or if like me in my martial arts class they noticed no transfems were there but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there.

It is years ago and I am still an egg. I am with my partner of 4 years. I am exhausted after a long day. She asks me for sex in the voice that I know means saying no will hurt her. I learned from her long ago men have high and insatiable sex drives, therefore saying no meant I wanted to have sex, just not with her. So I say yes. The sex is painful and unsatisfying, and I simply do my best to thrust through the discomfort until she cums. I feel numb and hurt. She enjoys herself but seems sad I did not cum. I assure her I love her. When we hold eachother after my obligation has been met and I finally feel comfortable and safe. We begin talking. She talks about the trashy women she saw on the street today, describing their cringe outfits and ugly styles and bad hair. All the styles and clothes and hair I yearn to try myself in my deepest and most repressed desires. I change the subject and ask her about work and family. She asks if I'd still love her if she were a man and I say yes. She says she would still love me if I were a woman. Something in that statement feels like a lie. It is months later when we break up and I move out. Now that I am a woman I look back and know from our years together that if I were a woman then she'd hate the kind of woman I'd become. That if I were a woman she'd still have the same expectations of me as a man, that her refusal of sex equated an impersonal not being in the mood but my refusal of sex equated a cruel refusal of love.

A lesbian group begins organizing a queer woman's strip night event. A safe place for amateur performers to shine and women to perform and enjoy sexuality away from the male gaze. I see no transfems in the promotional material or leadership team, and I've learned not to think nothing of it just because there are other trans people there. I do not go.

I am talking with my therapist. They are trans too and an amazing therapist, often providing insights and advice only someone else with the lived experience of being trans can. I express distress and suicidal ideation at the fact I feel like I need to pass before I can dress the way I want. That until I get expensive hair removal procedures and FFS I can never feel safe and welcome presenting authentically. I lament how these things are expensive and may never be accessible to me. They tell me I need to deal with my "internalized transphobia", as if these feelings aren't a result of constant rejection and othering by external forces even within queer spaces. As if the scrap of womanhood others sometimes acknowledge in me does not rely on their perceptions of me.

There is a publication accepting works from trans people of all stripes to document trans experiences. It gets flamed for not having a single transfem as a contributor. The people behind it apologize profusely, they say didn't notice no transfems had sent work in and would do a sequel publication that was transfem-centric. I wonder if anyone had noticed there were no transfems but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there. I think about the kinds of spaces I've seen like that, and the implications it has about how they treat transfems, and I am unsurprised no transfems submitted.

One of my closest friends for years is very supportive of me when I first begin crossdressing and experimenting with they/them pronouns. She gives me suggestions on cute clothes to wear and takes me shopping as well as asks for pictures. We had helped eachother discover we were both queer as young teens, come to terms with it, and navigate it in a hostile environment, so I have complete trust. We are close enough we are frequently asking eachother advice on serious life choices & relationships, sending nudes for critique + tips before sending them to our partners, and sharing our most secret and vulnerable moments. She often asks me for tips on getting her straight boyfriends into pegging and crossdressing that make me slightly uncomfortable but I don't mind, she is a loyal friend I would endure a great many discomforts for. I host a lunch for us one day, and come out to her as a trans woman. I tell her my new name, say I no longer use he/him pronouns, and thank her for her support on my journey thus far. She launches into a monologue about how by changing my name I am throwing away all our memories together and spitting in the face of my family. Taken aback by her sudden heel turn after being so supportive of me being nonbinary and GNC, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get a break and give her some time to process. When I am in the bathroom trying not to cry, she is on the phone. I overhear her misgendering me as she is talking about me being bisexual in a frightened voice. She sounds truly afraid that I intend to be sexually violent towards her. When I leave the bathroom and sit back down I pretend not to have heard. She gets off the phone, saying she was just chatting with her boyfriend. We talk a bit longer, she explains how "the surgery" is dangerous and experimental and she hopes I won't get it. I assure her I won't and do my best to change the subject and hope she comes around after some time to process things, hurt and shocked that what I saw as a natural shift in the path I was already on marked me as frightening in her eyes after knowing eachother for over a decade. That a fellow bisexual suddenly saw my bisexuality as dangerous now that I was asserting myself as a trans woman. I say goodbye to her, and she says goodbye to me using my deadname, I do not risk an argument to correct her. It is months after the meeting we have not seen eachother since and she has not responded to any messages I sent. After reflecting on her reaction further I decide that I don't really want to spend time with someone who thinks these things about me for my own safety and mental health, regardless of our history. A friend of 14 years who supported my queerness and transness gone the instant I crossed an intangible woman-shaped line that marked me as a predator and invader in her eyes.

I log online and day after day see trans women getting banned and harassed. Seeing baseless callout posts calling them groomers and abusers getting taken seriously by other queer and trans people. Seeing proof that deep down so many people I consider kindred spirits see me and people like me as worthy of intense scrutiny and policing to keep "the queer community" safe and united. The blocklist grows but everything stays the same. I treasure the people in my life who don't take part in this and would do anything for them, but it seems they get fewer each time.

I'm not making this post to seek sympathy, I am used to this kind of shit and far worse has happened to myself and others. I just make this to illustrate transmisogyny is not some "online-only" issue like people claim. Even if online issues weren't "real" (as healed is fond of saying, "online is real") this has tangible effects in the way trans women are treated offline as well. By communities, friends, partners, colleagues, systems, etc. That's why we talk about it.

So much of the discussions people have paint transmisogyny as some online oppression olympics maliciously trying to divide the community, smear transmascs, and "reinvent bioessentialism". That is not what it is about. Discussions about transmisogyny is about how we are treated for being what we are, and while related to transphobia and misogyny it is seperate because it often represents doors other trans people and women can walk through that transfems cannot. It has affected me in my most intimate moments when I was with other trans and queer people I felt safe around, and taught me that I need to carefully manage my persona and presentation at all times lest my authenticity be branded "male socialization". I am even terrified to express attraction to people who express attraction towards me because I'm so used to being treated like a predator upon reciprocating or being used and abandoned by people I trusted. I am terrified to be too excited about shared interests with friends lest I be too loud or talkative about it and branded with aggressive male socialization. So I make myself quiet and small, and shrink from the community and people I care about, and become more and more isolated.

Anyways, stop platforming anons who spread lies about trans women, stop hopping on TERF harassment campaigns because the trans gal they're smearing "gave you bad vibes", and maybe consider carefully if in your own life where you draw the line for a transfem's behavior is any different from where you'd draw the line for anyone who's not one.
There's a lot of powerful comments too. If only ResetERA.com could be as loving and welcoming and comfy rather than one of the worst places on the internet for trans people.
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